AntiLove: A Fairly OddParents Musical
by Mikichu
Summary: Anti-Cosmo is sick of being jailed and hated because of not who he is, but what he is. He has a plan to stop all of that- a plan that has had motivation for three thousand years. One-sided Anti-CosmoxWanda, but possible two-sidedness over time.
1. Wanda

(The lights are very dim, completely dark if desired. Anti-Cosmo is sitting in a throne near the edge of the stage, with all the Anti-Fairies facing him, bowing down. Anti-Wanda is not there. Anti-Cupid is on the side of Anti-Cosmo, holding a tray with a teapot and teacup on it.)

(Music Cue 1- Wanda. The lights slowly come on as the intro to the song plays. The following, until otherwise marked, is spoken over the music.)

**ANTI-COSMO:** It's time we try to take over Fairy World again.

**ANTI-CUPID:** But what if that little boy stops us another time? He's outsmarted you once-

**ANTI-COSMO: **Outsmarted?Are you questioning my intelligence? (Anti-Cupid shrinks back and shakes his head.) Good. Timothy just got lucky those times! Besides... once this plan is done we won't have to worry about Timothy Turner any longer.  
>(Sing.) This plan is outstanding, if I say so myself,<br>For with it I get two things that I want.  
>I get domination, annihilation,<br>And a wife who is smart, is she not?

**ANTI-CUPID:** (Sing.) No offense, Anti-Cosmo, your wife is a mess,  
>Stupid beyond compare.<br>More bad teeth than the kid, her life's on the skids,

**ANTI-COSMO:** (Sing.) Anti-Cupid, oh contrare. _(The music speeds up.)_  
>I don't mean Anti-Wanda, you dope!<br>I'm meaning a whole different girl!  
>The Anti of my wife, the love of my life,<br>She'll help me take over the world!  
>I mean a fairy with magenta hair,<br>Her eyes are deep pools of dark pink,  
>Too good for Cosmo, she should let him go.<p>

**ANTI-CUPID:** (Sing.) Anti-Cosmo, do you mean who I think?  
>Do you mean Wanda, Turner's godmother?<p>

**ANTI-COSMO: **(Sing.) Quite right, Anti-Cupid, I mean no other.  
>Wanda, superior, gorgeous, divine,<br>And when it's all over Wanda will be mine! (He rises from his throne and the Anti-Fairies stand up.)

**ANTI-FAIRIES:** (Sing.) Anti-Cosmo, our ruler, our god,  
>Anti-Cosmo, the one we obey!<br>The cruelest being we'll ever be seeing,  
>Driving the light away!<strong><br>**Friday the Thirteenth is upon us now,  
>It is our time to shine!<br>We'll run lives amuck, with our bad luck,  
>From mother's backs breaking to crime!<p>

**ANTI-COSMO:** While you're causing all the bad luck you can,  
>I will begin launching my plan,<br>To kidnap Wanda, so lovely, so fine,  
>And when it's all over Wanda will be mine!<br>When it's over the whole world will be mine!

_(The lights come down suddenly as all on stage exit, yelling about how great Friday the Thirteenth is. The music fades as they do this.)_

(Enter Wanda, Timmy and Cosmo. Wanda is carrying a doll; this doll is to be portrayed as Poof.)

**WANDA: **Timmy, I feel like something's wrong.

**TIMMY/COSMO: **What are you talking about? There's nothing wrong.

**WANDA: **Something is... off.

**COSMO: **Awww, don't worry, baby! I'm here! I'll protect you!

**TIMMY: **Maybe that's what she's worried about...

_(Cosmo hangs his head and Wanda puts her hands on her hips.)_

**TIMMY: **...Sorry.

**WANDA: **Oh well. Cosmo, here. Take Poof. I'm going to my room. (_Exit_.)

**TIMMY: **You think she's right, Cosmo?

**COSMO: **I dunno. She's the smart one. _(Exit.)_


	2. Troubled

(The lights are dim as they were for the beginning of the musical. Wanda is sitting on a bed.)

(Music Cue- Troubled)

**WANDA: **(Sing.) Am I being paranoid,

Or are my fears well-placed?

This is overwhelming me,

Can not be erased.

Something's off, something is wrong,

The very air feels strange.

Is the wrong here only me?

Am I becoming deranged?

It's something in the air tonight,

Emotions turn and tumble.

Is it real or only me?

I am feeling troubled.

(Anti-Cosmo enters from behind.)

**ANTI-COSMO: **(Spoken) Greetings, my love.

(Wanda screams.)

**ANTI-COSMO: **(Raises a hand. Wanda quiets.) (Sing.) The feeling you describe is me,

You sense my presence here.

We Antis are creatures of darkness,

Radiating fear.

Be assured, my frightened dove,

That you needn't be.

Fear shall be replaced by pleasure,

If you come with me.

Have my word, I vow to you,

I'll catch you when you stumble.

I'll relieve you of your sorrow,

Lift you from your troubles.

**WANDA: **(Sing.) How do I know I can trust you?

Surely, it's a plot!

You're here to manipulate me-

**ANTI-COSMO: **(Sing.) No, love, I am not.

I'll leave you to think it over.

When the answer's clear,

Just make sure to tell me so.

But one more thing, my dear:

I can bestow upon you,

Something you've never known.

A pleasure you have never felt,

A chill throughout your bones.

Of our little conversation,

You must never tell.

Not a soul, don't breathe a word.

For now, I bid you farewell.

(He tips his hat and exits.)

(Music out.)


	3. Unknown

Ook. It has been long. Far too long. I apologize.

:::

(Wanda stands and calls for her husband, who races on stage.)

**COSMO: **What's wrong, Wanda?

**WANDA: **Anti... Anti-Cosmo... was just here.

**COSMO: **(Screams) Anti-Cosmo! No! He's scary! Where is he?

**WANDA: **He's... he's gone now.

**COSMO: **Are you sure? (He begins to check everywhere in the room.)

**TIMMY: **Guys! I used the shrink suit to get in here when I heard Wanda yell. What's going on?

**WANDA: **Anti-Cosmo was here.

**TIMMY/COSMO: **What did he want?

(Music Cue- Unknown)

**WANDA: **(Sing.) I do not know his motives,

But I know he wanted me.

**COSMO**: (Spoken.) He wanted my Wanda?

**TIMMY**: (Sing.) That I can't believe.

If he wanted you so much,

Why not do it by force?

**WANDA**: (Sing.) He sounded like he loved me.

**COSMO/TIMMY**: (Sing.) Wanda, don't be silly.

**WANDA**: (Sing.) The man looked like he loved me.

**COSMO**: (Sing.) I won't let this happen!

Wanda, you are mine!

I will love you forever,

Beyond the end of time,

You can not run away with him!

**WANDA**: What makes you think I would?

**COSMO**: I don't know if you love me.

**WANDA/TIMMY**: Cosmo, don't be silly.

**COSMO**: Are you sure that you love me?

I don't know if you love me.

**WANDA/TIMMY**: Cosmo, that's just silly.

(Music out.)


	4. Assumptions

Oh, a note: I should have mentioned this earlier, but the stage is set up like it is at Celebrations Dinner Theater. There are three seperate stages, one for Cosmo and Wanda's room, one for Anti-Cosmo's study, and one to be reset for different scenes. The first two rooms are on the side, while the other one is in the center. Also, I don't know if it will work, but I am trying to record these songs -even some of the script, if I have time and enough people who would consider watching- and put it on Youtube, just so that the people who read this know exactly what's going on inside my head.

Anyway, enough rambling. On with the musical.

:::

(The lights dim on this stage and the lighting goes to Anti-Cosmo's study. Meanwhile, others are setting up the outside of the castle on the middle stage. Anti-Cosmo is sitting on the floor, with his forehead resting in his hand. He looks rather dejected.)

**ANTI-COSMO:** Yes, yes, of course. She wouldn't come with me upon seeing me. No, no, she wouldn't. I'm a fool. What fairy does not hold prejudice against us? Bloody hell. I need to take her ideas of me away. I need to take those twisted thoughts and create new ones. I am not a monster. Not a monster...

(Anti-Wanda enters.)

**ANTI-WANDA**: Cozzie? Are you okay?

**ANTI-COSMO**: (Scornfully. He does not look at her.) Do not call me that, you twit.

**ANTI-WANDA:** What's wrong? You've been in here all day-

**ANTI-COSMO**: (Cuts in) Nothing. Nothing is wrong, woman, just get out of my study. You know you are not to be here. This is my space and my space only.

**ANTI-WANDA**: I just wanted to-

**ANTI-COSMO**: (He stands and goes to her.) (Music Cue- Assumption.) (Spoken.) Your concern is sickening. You are an Anti-Fairy. You are not supposed to love anyone. (He looks away, glaring at something.) At least, that's what they think.

ANTI-WANDA: (Spoken.) Who thinks what?

**ANTI-COSMO:** (Sing.) The Fairies, they think they're so pure and kind,

But I see things with a different eye.

We are their equals, if not ever higher.

All that I ever have really desired...

Is no prejudece and thus,

Is equality between us.

They think that they can shun us?

They think that they can beat us,

Just because our skin is blue?

Does that make any sense to you?

They're looking down upon us,

With peculiar assumptions,

But I'm sure you can not comprehend the words I say.

You're nothing but a fool anyway.

**ANTI-WANDA:** (Sing.) I know, I understand,

It's the reason for yer plans.

**ANTI-COSMO:** (Sing.) I want to enslave them,

Oh, how long I've craved them.

I want to let them know what it is like,

To be whipped.

Beaten,

Broken,

Bruised,

Just because our skin is blue.

Jailed,

Impaled,

Always failed,

Because we're not like them,

We are Anti.

The Fairies are in no way pure and kind.

(Music out.)

ANTI-COSMO: Now. Do as I requested of you before and get out. I have no use for you.


	5. Enemy

Ouuee. Sorry for the wait, I was in Calgary.

:::

(The lights fade from that part of the stage as they go to the outside of Anti-Cosmo's castle. Wanda walks calmly on stage and goes up to the "door".)

**WANDA: **Well... he said to let him know what the answer was. Really. Did he think I would fall for that? He couldn't love me. He married the opposite of me! How could he-

(Anti-Cosmo opens the door at this. Wanda yelps.)

**ANTI-COSMO**: I knew I heard something out here. Not at all shocking that it is you, Wanda. (She begins to speak but Anti-Cosmo raises a hand to cut her off.) And yes, I know what you are about to say. You are about to reject me, and say that this is all plot because I could never love you. Why do you say that I could never love you, Wanda? Because Anti-Fairies can't love? Because we're evil? Because we feel nothing? I am not a sociopath, Wanda! Your view of us is twisted. I am not a monster.

**WANDA**: Not a monster? You kidnapped my child! You were going to suck the magic out of him! You probably would have killed him, if you had succeeded!

**ANTI-COSMO**: And? I do these things to take over Fairy World.

**WANDA**: Exactly! You want to take over Fairy World to make us suffer!

**ANTI**-**COSMO**: Only to make you suffer as we do.

**WANDA**: How do you suffer?

**ANTI-COSMO**: Need I remind you again of my feelings for you?

**WANDA**: They're not real. And besides, I love Cosmo! And you love Anti-Wanda, provided you can love anyway!

**ANTI-COSMO**: Do I, Wanda? Do I love her? Or do I love you? I most certainly can love, Wanda, and you know it. You needn't be afraid of me. I am not going to hurt you.

**WANDA**: (Sing a capella) How do I know I can trust you?

Hold that thought, I know I can't.

You will not bend my mind,

Your death seeds will not plant.

(Music Cue- Enemy)

**WANDA**: (Sing) Why should I fall for,

Your silly statements?

All that you want is,

Universal domination.

All of this is clearly,

Manipulation.

**ANTI-COSMO**: (Sing.) The Anti-Fairies,

Why do you hate them?

We have hearts and minds,

Just as much as you.

Yes, I too, can love,

**WANDA**: That can not be true!

Keep yourself away,

Far away from me!

All you'll ever be,

Is my enemy!

(Music out.)


End file.
